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Writer's pictureVictor Riddel

We've got absolutely no idea what the appropriate min age is for VR, admit headset makers


VR headset manufacturers have announced they've got absolutely no clue how young is too young for VR and probably won't know anytime soon.

Part time eye specialist at Octopus, Dr Alastor Moody, said "We read somewhere that kids eyes are still developing up to as late as 7 so an all night neon VR roller coaster tornament probably isn't advisable for your 5 year old. Honestly though, we've struggled for years on this topic. Our lawyers decided to up the min age from 7 on the DK1 to 13 for CV1 based on standard ass-covering protocol". VR parent, Chester Landsoap said "I wasn't fully convinced that using VR under the age of 13 would result in side-effects such as uncontrollable dribbling, inflated eyeballs or suddenly being able to speak Belgian. I let my 11 year old try Pistol Trip and now it's hard to get him off it. The only VR side-effect I've noticed is a reduced interest in flat-screen games". Self-righteous parental adviser, Chip Gutterage, said "I constantly see people posting videos of their kids playing VR. It fills me with a mixture of anger and dreamy-eyed adoration for how damn cute it looks. But, as a childless adult I feel it's my duty to berate irresponsible parents and give advice that's backed up with many minutes of internet research". Dr Moody adds "Honestly, we were never going to crack the question of does VR effect children in a negative way. That takes decades of research and a massive sample group. As we weren't really getting anywhere we've decided to discontinue any internal research in this area". "Our current strategy is to just wait and see what VR parents who ignore the age limit discover"

 

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